THE END OF AMERICANS IDLE

Now that the winner has been declared, we can finally get off the couch.

I decided to let the rest of the week that followed last Wednesday’s "American Idol" results pass before uttering a word, as tempting as it was to join the fray. I preferred not to get tangled up with other bloggers and commentators who’ve been either lamenting Chrystal ‘Mama Sox’s loss, or celebrating Lee DeWyze’s victory. Because ultimately, the true victory that took place in this house did not emanate from the television.

I’d thought we were home free after the Yankees clinched the World Series last November. The house was back in working order: school projects and homework were getting done on time without the last-minute scramble, after-dinner clean-up happened - get this - right after dinner, and the evening came to a reasonable, satisfying end before the natives got too restless. We were off to a flying start towards the second half of the school year. Even the Scrabble board came out every once in a while.

But something happened. Somebody in this house, and I don’t know who, stumbled upon American Idol, and roped the rest of us into an ominous web of Prime Time television to the point that we were completely, hopelessly committed. It started with the auditions in various home towns across the land after the New Year, then on to the cut for the Top 24, down to the 12, through, among other things, the absurdity of Tim Urban’s repeatedly remarkable bullet-dodging, Siobhan’s shrieking, Big Mike’s ‘save’ and his eventual axing (I was out to dinner when it happened, and received a voice message from a pissed-off Julian with an update: “Mike lost! Stupid Casey!”) and finally, Casey’s departure. In brief, we here all agree that Chrystal’s career as a free agent will take off in a big way, and Lee’s six-year American Idol contract will either take him to new heights (we hope), or leave him writing jingles for Home Depot (we hope not).

So it’s officially summer now. Memorial Day weekend has just set the tone for a trim, healthful new beginning. Take a long, brisk walk after dinner, and don’t rush back. There’s nothing on - with the exception of the remaining “Glee” episode, the Prime-time line-up is on hiatus until the fall. Therefore, my sweet cherubs, I’d like all these things picked up and put back where they belong, K? Please. help yourself to that glass of water or bowl of ice-cream, and after that, you can take that freshly laundered pile of your clothes to your room and put it away, and make sure you brush your teeth before you’re too wiped out to do it. Oh, and on the way to bed, just stop off in the family room, turn on the TV, and tell me how the Yanks and Mets are doing, would you?

This is great. I've got 'em well trained now.